Why self-awareness is a moral necessity?
Whenever there is an incident of crime in the country, there is a hue and cry that our law enforcement is not good enough, that it does not punish the criminals. Consequently, it is suggested, that the public has no fear of getting caught and facing the consequences, which leads to criminals continuing to commit crimes and harm others.
Although it is absolutely necessary for criminals to be apprehended and punished in order to deliver retribution or justice to the victims, but can this always prevent future occurrences of crime? It is true that some individuals may take heed after realizing that criminal activity will not go unpunished by law enforcement. However, this may not hold true for everyone. We can observe this in countries where law enforcement is effective, yet crime still persists. Many factors are at play, including the influence of the social context. The broken window theory is one way to explain this phenomenon:
Besides the social context, a person’s moral consciousness also plays a crucial role. Firstly, there is the understanding of what is right and wrong, which we often learn as we grow up through the influence of morally conscious adults. The behavior of our elders sets a precedent for us. Another factor is the fear of social rejection that arises from deviating from certain standards of behavior (although this is not always effective, particularly when certain harmful acts become socially acceptable).
We also learn from being victims of injustice or witnessing harm being done to others. Depending on our level of consciousness (which will be discussed further later on), a moral voice within us inspires us to avoid hurtful or harmful behavior towards others. However, there is more to it. A recent post by Jordan Peterson alludes to something deep within the human psyche, which Carl Jung referred to as the “Shadow.
The Shadow contains that side of our nature which we learn to reject and forget completely because its manifestation can strain our relationships with others, not because that aspect of our nature is inherently problematic, but because the people around us hold a negative attitude towards it. The process of nurturing teaches us what is deemed unacceptable according to social standards. As we mature, certain traits are pushed into the shadow, meaning we have the potential to act in a certain way, but our ego learns to reject that side out of fear of social rejection, often burying it deep within our unconscious. These social standards can also be based on misconceptions, false beliefs, or outdated traditions from the past.
In the words of Erich Fromm, what is considered normal in society may actually be very unhealthy. The societal norms can be based on false or misplaced beliefs that may have been helpful in certain past situations, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they will always be effective or stand the test of time.
For instance, institutions developed during wartime may require very specific personality traits that are not always necessary. However, if a society remains stuck in that state for several generations, the upcoming generation may perceive it as normal and reject any set of traits that doesn’t comply, even viewing the manifestation of new traits or behaviors as a threat, regardless of how natural they may be.
A child growing up learns to suppress such traits and may even develop hatred towards them. They may also feel animosity towards individuals who possess such traits. These sets of traits can vary from family to family, depending on the experiences of their past generations.
When an external situation, such as a person’s behavior, triggers the traits hidden in the shadow or when the behavior of others reminds us of aspects within our shadow, we may instinctively project the same feelings of hatred or anger towards that person or situation as we hold towards the shadow within ourselves. This projection occurs below the level of our conscious awareness, without us realizing the true cause. We may suddenly feel hatred or disgust towards something external without recognizing that the internal cause is the source of our emotional response.
In other words, when you observe something in your surroundings, like a person’s actions, it unconsciously reminds you of certain aspects within your own shadow. While consciously, you believe that your current external experience is the cause of those feelings, you react to the external threat while mistakenly attributing it as the primary source of your discomfort. If you become consciously aware of the true origin of your discomfort, you can choose a different reaction to the external stimuli.
The shadow within us has the potential to cause harm. Unbeknownst to us, we can project the contents of our shadow onto others and externalize our internal relationship with the shadow. This means that if you despise the contents of your shadow, you will also despise the person onto whom your shadow has been projected. You will perceive the person as an immediate threat and may respond aggressively, even if they pose no objective threat.
Our reactions may not always be criminal but can cause inconvenience or harm to others. While they may not be significant enough to involve law enforcement for retribution, they can still be a nuisance. For example, breaking commitments due to over commitment, being dishonest about something, or overreacting to a minor issue.
This ugly side becomes more active when we consciously forget about its presence. It operates in the background, often taking control of our behavior and leading us to act in ways that we eventually regret. If, in this process, we cause harm to others, we are often left with no option but to compensate for the damage we have done.
At times, you may feel completely justified while remaining oblivious to the harm caused to others. You may find it difficult to accept your mistake and instead prefer to blame the very victim. It is possible that you may not consciously acknowledge that the same capacity exists within you, but you have learned to reject it within yourself and also reject it in others.
This tendency makes it crucial for us to develop sufficient self-awareness and learn to proactively regulate our behavior to avoid any harm we may cause. However, to do that, we must understand the source.
What is the source of such behavior? I have already explained the concept of projecting the shadow, which leads us to perceive something outside ourselves as a threat. The second part of the explanation is understanding how our autonomic nervous system (ANS) reacts when we perceive a threat. It is important to recognize that this perception can be incorrect. However, if the activity of the autonomic nervous system bypasses our conscious awareness, it will assume the perception to be accurate and react accordingly. This activation of the ANS can be referred to as entering survival mode. In this mode, the ANS prioritizes self-interest and does not consider how others may be affected by our actions. The empathetic and sympathetic functions of the brain tend to be less active in this state. The ANS will choose one of the four responses: (a) Fight, (b) Flight, (c) Freeze, or (d) Fawn.
In fight mode, the ANS would feel completely justified in attacking any perceived threat. If the threat is too big, the ANS may opt for flight, attempting to escape the situation. When neither fighting nor escaping is feasible, it may opt for freezing. Alternatively, it may choose a fawn-like response, like an over-commitment. The ANS may choose any of these responses, while disregarding moral considerations.
It becomes problematic when the threat is not real but merely perceived, as our reaction can result in injustice or harm. Being unaware that it is a perception rather than reality can turn that perception into reality.
Our reactions may not always be short-lived; they can also persist over time, leading us to form entire personalities and develop complex strategies to manage perceived threats in the places where we spend most of our time, such as work or home. All of this can occur without the realization that the threat being perceived is a mere perception and may not actually exist or may not be as significant as perceived. The survival instinct compels us to choose a particular strategy that may serve our own interests but may not be beneficial for others. Our ability to empathize with the feelings of others is also compromised when we are in survival mode. For example, office politics can take on a complex form, with different managers reacting to perceived threats and creating elaborate plans or strategies to ‘manage’ the threats within or outside the organization.
It’s like being at war with oneself without even realizing it. Suppression of a natural response instead of regulating it in a healthy manner creates an internal conflict. When something in the external world triggers the same natural response, we feel threatened, similar to the reactions we experienced from the elders around us. However, we falsely assume that the external stimuli are primarily responsible for making us feel that way. We then react, turning our internal conflict into an external conflict. This unconscious fight-or-flight response can manifest as aggression, avoidance, freezing, or even fawning, depending on the nature of the threat. For instance, in an act of fawning, we may comply with an unjust authority who instructs us to act unjustly towards others. Our unconscious projections may prevent us from realizing our own capacity to stand up against an unjust authority when possible.
Jordan Peterson describes evil not as mere destructiveness or injustice but as the presentation of harm or injustice as justified. When our ego justifies the destructive or unjust actions advocated by our shadow, it becomes evil. Making mistakes and experiencing the influence of our shadow, such as anger, is a natural part of being human. However, when we persistently justify and insist on those wrong actions, evil emerges. To err is human; to persist in error is evil.
Nevertheless, it is not responsible to remain trapped in a cycle of repeating the same mistakes. It is necessary to find the root cause and eliminate it to prevent harm. Mindfulness is a crucial technique in this context, where we practice observing our impulses without criticism. Through mindfulness practice, we gradually gain insight into our deeper selves. We learn to distinguish between our projections and reality. We realize that what we perceive as a threat or discomfort is often a reminder of a past experience.
The more we recognize the difference between external stimuli and our internal experiences, the better able we are to choose our actions. Identifying the source of our discomfort is crucial. If the discomfort stems from a past experience, it may not be appropriate to react to the person in front of us. If the situation becomes overwhelming, we can choose to remove ourselves from it with a valid excuse. Each time we make choices based on self-awareness, we enhance our ability to identify the causes of our feelings and act accordingly. However, this process is not linear, and we may revisit old patterns multiple times. It is natural to stumble, but with persistence, self-compassion (instead of shaming), and a commitment to create a better environment for ourselves and those we care about, transformation becomes possible.
It is crucial not to shame ourselves. Would you shame yourself for feeling the urge to urinate or defecate? Similarly, many of our feelings arise without conscious choice, and they are part of our nature. It is important to identify their natural place in our lives and acknowledge the past. Paradoxically, the more we ignore these feelings, the more they become misplaced. It’s like holding in urine for too long — eventually, it might lead to urinating where we shouldn’t. Does this make urine or the urge to urinate bad or evil? Should we judge ourselves for not being able to resist the urge? What if societal or circumstantial factors contributed to that situation and then blamed us for not resisting?
While this may not typically happen with urination, it occurs in various other contexts. Unfortunately, we live in a society that often neglects some of our natural needs and even compels us to forget significant aspects of our nature, burying them within our personal shadows. When a large portion of society has a shadow, it accumulates and transforms into a collective shadow, where what is hidden inside festers and turns ugly, making it even harder to accept. When the ugliness becomes overwhelming, it is rejected more aggressively, perpetuating a vicious cycle.
For example, when people are not allowed to marry at the appropriate age, the consequences can eventually become evident. Disowning the emotional side of our nature makes it easier to become emotionally unstable. What is pushed into the shadow emerges as something ugly, even when it shouldn’t.
The solution is simple, although easier said than done: acknowledge the contents of the shadow, integrate them, and understand them as a natural part of your being. They do not need rejection but regulation; they need structure and a place where they can exist. These contents need to be channeled, as they represent raw energy that can manifest in various forms. This process is extremely challenging since we have been conditioned to reject them throughout our lives. The first step, therefore, is to identify the resistance we have developed against the shadow content. According to Tolle, bringing this opposition into our conscious awareness automatically softens it. However, this effect is short-lived, as the opposition tends to resurface when we lose focus. Thus, extensive practice is necessary.
The second step is to start identifying the contents of the shadow. Triggers can be incredibly helpful in this process, as they point to the parts of ourselves that have longed for acceptance. However, this is a lengthy journey that can only be embarked upon once we have softened our internal resistance.
The third step involves showing acceptance towards these rejected parts. It’s akin to making friends with a very angry, scared, injured, sick, and lonely kitten that screeches the moment you approach it. How do you accomplish this? It requires immense patience and a demonstration of compassion until the kitten begins to trust you.
Watching videos that showcase the entire process of recovering and rehabilitating animals can provide valuable insights into how to engage with our own rejected parts. It’s like recovering a part of our raw nature, and once we do, we can also heal it. In literature, this part is often symbolized as our inner-child, who may have been stifled by excessive discipline or frightened by a chaotic upbringing environment.
Once we have healed those rejected parts, which is no easy task, we must find a meaningful and constructive, or at the very least non-destructive, way for this natural part to express itself. Engaging in creative activities is one way to accomplish this.
This journey is long and challenging, and often we will need support from others who can understand and help us neutralize the resistance our ego puts up against these parts.
It may seem like a lot, but it is necessary. It is necessary not only to avoid hurting others but also to stop causing harm to ourselves in the process. These internal conflicts create discomfort within us. The ongoing war keeps us under stress, and when it becomes too much for too long, it can even damage our health, leading to various non-communicable diseases. For our own sake and for the sake of those around us, especially our children, we need to be actively involved in the process of resolving our internal conflicts and integrating our raw nature in a healthy manner.
